


Indecent Devotion

by whiskeycoffee (tsukidrama)



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Blue uses sex to forget she's sad, Cunnilingus, Dubious Consent, F/F, Grief/Mourning, Jealousy, Lesbian Sex, Neck Kissing, Nipple Play, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Rough Kissing, Vaginal Fingering, and Diamonds aren't good at them, feelings are hard, i'm so sorry for this goodbye, i'm too emo about their relationship to make this plotless, i've been wanting to write this foreveeeer but i didn't want to start until after the trial, if you're just here for the porn its in chapters 2-4, we've all been there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-06-16
Packaged: 2018-11-13 02:30:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11175129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsukidrama/pseuds/whiskeycoffee
Summary: Four times Blue says "I love you" and one time she doesn't.Or, in which, everything Yellow did was for love.





	1. Chapter 1

The large metal doors hiss open as Yellow Diamond strides through them. She takes about two steps into the chamber before stopping to observe.

The whole area is vast and glittering, yet sleek and long. An arching ceiling looms above her head; the sleek metal walls slope down to a sharp edge, cool to the touch. The floor, made of a hard and smooth rock, reflects even the smallest of sounds whether it be as hefty as a footstep or as insignificant as a sigh. Large, opulent stairs lead up to an elongated platform. In front of the platform lie a colossal window with a view offering the entirety of the Homeworld Galaxy.

Blue Diamond stands in the middle of the platform, gazing out of the thick glass into the infinity of space. The faint glow of distant stars casts a soft light onto her face. Yellow stands below the platform, taking in the sight. Everything is quiet except for the muted rumbling of the idling engine.

"We should be leaving momentarily," Yellow tells her.

Blue looks over her shoulder to the sound of Yellow's voice; her hair spills down her back as she turns. "Oh, good."

"The crew is just waiting for us to leaving the viewing deck."

Blue nods, letting her eyes slide closed. "I want to stay here a little while longer."

Neither of them move. Yellow’s gaze shifts to the sight beyond the glass. Stars beam from the endless reaches of the void. The closest glitter with the intensity of a beacon; the farthest like flashing pinpricks in a shroud of darkness. Yellow fixates her gaze on one star of intermediate size. Her eyes instinctively narrow. The Earth’s sun.

"Come here."

The words are barely louder than a whisper, but send a chill down Yellow’s spine as if they had been shouted.

Blue’s voice doesn’t rise at all. "Please, Yellow."

The thudding of Yellow’s footsteps resonate throughout the cavernous room as she ascends the stairs. She slows to a stop behind the other Diamond.

"Hold me," Blue mutters, eyes still closed.

The movement is natural - they had stood like this a thousand times before - with Blue ever so slightly leaning against Yellow’s broad frame as she wraps her arms around Blue’s waist. Blue rests her arms atop Yellow’s. Their heads tilt together, Blue settles against Yellow’s neck, and Yellow puts her chin atop Blue’s head.

They stand like that, unmoving, for some time. Yellow lets her eyes fall shut, securing her hold on Blue’s slender form.

It was times like these that make up for the years they had to spend apart. Nothing but the two of them, comfortable and happy in each other's’ arms. Even if it’s only for a few moments: in those moments, all burdens run free. The silence envelops them with ease. Yellow rarely allows herself to lose her grip on anything, but for some reason she has never had a problem with losing herself in Blue. Even after millennia it’s unfamiliar territory for her, laying her emotions bare for another to see.

Blue is the one to break the silence.

"Pink says her new colony is beautiful."

Flung back into reality, Yellow’s eyes shoot open, and her eyebrows furrow. She lifts her chin away from Blue. "Yes, so I've heard."

Blue tilts her head up to face Yellow. "I can't wait to see it. She says it's promising."

Yellow looks away. 

"I've heard,” she repeats. 

"It's going to be wonderful, Yellow."

Yellow’s grip begins to slacken. In response, Blue grasps the other Diamond’s forearms, holding them in place around her body.

Without saying a word, Yellow shakes her off, breaking free of the embrace. She purposefully steps away from the other Diamond.

The soft pout of Blue’s lower lip solicits an explanation. “Yellow?”

Yellow sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. "You only want to go to Earth because it's her planet."

Blue is quick to react. "Is there a problem with that?" After a moment of hesitation she takes a step towards Yellow, lifting her hand to touch Yellow’s upper arm. “I’ve always been just as eager to see your new colonies.”

"I know." Yellow shoots back, defensive.

Blue retracts her hand.

Yellow softens her voice, turning away. "What I really mean is I only wish I could see you more."

Blue is silent for a few seconds, contemplating her response. She inhales as if to speak, but instead sighs in resignation.

Blue once again lifts her hand to rest on Yellow’s arm. "What are you saying, love?"

Yellow extends her hand to cover Blue’s. She shakes her head. "Everything has been so hectic these past few hundred years with your new colony in the Andromeda Galaxy and with the Delta insurrection in Redshift 7..."

“My Andromeda colony is hardly new - it’s been around for almost a thousand years now.”

“Please don't change the subject, Blue.” Yellow lets her hand fall, leaving Blue’s bare. “It seems that the only opportunity we have to see each other is this - to visit Pink's colony.”

The corners of Blue’s lips lifts into a sad smile. She grazes her fingers down the length of Yellow’s arm, and the golden gem shivers at the sensation.

“I saw you not two days ago,” Blue whispers, taking another step closer. She intertwines her fingers with Yellow’s, “at the Authority meeting.”

Yellow raises Blue’s hand to her lips and plants a tender kiss on the back of her palm. “I mean properly see each other. Like we used to.”

Blue’s skirts sway around her ankles as she steps in front of Yellow. She rises up onto her toes, and Yellow intuitively lowers her neck so their lips meet.

The kiss is closed-mouthed and short-lived, but it’s enough to ignite the flutters in the pit of Yellow’s stomach. When Blue sinks back down to the balls of her feet, Yellow turns her head away.

“This is what I mean. It can’t be like this at Authority meetings. It won’t be like this when we land on Earth.”

Blue raises her hand to Yellow’s cheek and gently guides Yellow’s gaze back to her own.

"Earth is going to be beautiful."

Yellow rolls her eyes and turns away. She starts to descend the steps and off the platform, making a beeline for the door. "That's beside the point."

"Yellow," Blue nearly pleads, following in pursuit. She stops at the top of the steps, and her voice, almost inaudibly, cracks when she speaks. "Yellow, please. Don't go."

Yellow stops near the bottom of the stairs. She doesn’t turn to look at Blue.

“You love her,” Yellow says. It’s not an accusation, and Yellow doesn’t mean it as such. She makes the statement as if it is obvious, yet Blue looks surprised. 

The soft echoes of Blue’s quickened breath echo throughout the room. Yellow shakes her head and continues her descent.

After several, long, painful moments, the room fills with the sounds of Blue’s footsteps rushing down the stairs.

Yellow concedes to Blue’s touch as soon as she feels it, accepting the Diamond into her arms. Yellow twirls her around as Blue leaps up, pressing her lips against Yellow’s with a fire. Yellow sets her on the ground and breaks the kiss, resolving instead to bury her nose into Blue’s hair.

"I love you," Blue whispers, “You know I do.”

Yellow responds with another kiss, long and deep. Her hands drift up from the center of Blue’s back and up her shoulder blades until her fingers spread through the hair on the back of Blue’s head. 

"Let's get off the deck so we can go,” Yellow says, rising up to place a kiss on Blue’s forehead. Her lips curl into a playful smirk. “You know, I’ve heard the Earth is beautiful."

Blue smiles, and squeezes both of Yellow’s hands before turning to leave. With the hiss of the huge metal door opening, the two Diamonds exit the massive room. Behind them, a metal shield lowers over the expanse of glass, and the door hisses shut one last time.


	2. Chapter 2

Blue was alone. She was alone in every possible way.

She had asked to be left in peace, barring the doors of her chamber to everyone. Even her Pearl, a known source of comfort for Blue, was not allowed. She lies in the middle of a luxurious bed amongst an array of silken, elegant pillows and blankets, yet she had no regard for the expense around her. In the depths of her sorrow, she let her tears fall on them freely. As she cried and screamed she throws them on the ground and pulls them until they rip. In between the waves of grief, she is motionless among the tatters, staring at nothingness and letting hot tears flow as they come.

Blue doesn’t know how long it had been. she doesn't care. Time passes slowly and every moment was more painful than the last. She does not want to feel anything. 

Pink Diamond was dead.

 

The gargantuan blue doors to her chamber creak open.

“Blue, are you in there?”

Yellow’s voice fills the chamber as she steps inside. She closes the door behind her, but visibly hesitates before she makes her way over to the bed. “Blue?”

“Don’t look at me,” The words rip themselves from Blue’s throat, panic and resentment filling her voice.

Yellow crosses the distance anyway. As she moves from the door to the bed, Blue tries her best to cover her face. It’s too late.

“Oh, Blue...”

The pity Blue hears in Yellow’s voice is enough to trigger another fit of hysteria. She throws her arms above her head. 

“I said don’t look at me!” she chokes out, voice little else besides a sob. “I want to be alone.”

Yellow picks up a pillow from the edge of the bed. She contemplates it for a moment, then tosses it aside. She sits down in its place, looking at Blue. 

Blue turns away, but Yellow doesn’t move.

“I’m not leaving,” Yellow says. 

Blue’s previously shallow sobs grew bigger and deeper as she let the despair take over once more. She clenched her silken sheets and pressed them to her forehead, pulling her legs upwards. Her dress is hiked up above her knees.

“Come here,” Yellow’s hand lightly touches Blue’s shoulder, but the latter gem shakes her head in response, turning further away.

“Come here, Blue.”

The second time, it isn’t a request. Despite everything going on inside her, Blue obliges. She shifts her body, allowing Yellow to sit comfortably in the middle of the bed. Yellow stretches her arms out to take the other gem in her arms. Blue lets herself relax, albeit still feeling hesitant. 

Yellow strokes a strand of hair from Blue’s forehead.

“I just miss her so much” Blue whispers into Yellow’s chest, “sometimes I forget that she’s really gone…”

Yellow nods.

“It hurts,” Blue says. 

She leans into the pressure of Yellow’s fingers as they run through her hair. She lets Yellow wipe away a falling tear. “It hurts so badly,” she repeats. 

Yellow nods again and leans down to kiss Blue’s temple.

“Shh,” she tells her “It’s okay.”

She begins to run her fingers through the hair at the crown of Blue’s head. She catches on a tangle. Frowning, she works through the knot, only to meet another just inches down. Yellow's frown deepens.

“Blue,” she asks, cautious, “when is the last time you brushed your hair?”

“I just wish I could have told her more,” Blue murmurs, ignoring the other gem completely. Yellow looks down to find Blue staring off into the distance, eyes glazed over with tears.

“You need to take care of yourself,” Yellow pushes, “This is no way for a Diamond to be presenting herself.”

Blue blurts out suddenly, cutting off Yellow completely, “I should have told her how much she means to me and now...”

Blue’s voice breaks. She covers her face and let's out a heart-wrenching sob. Yellow pulls her closer.

“I know.” For the first time, Yellow’s voice begins to waver, too.

Blue presses a stray blanket against her eyes. “What if she… she,” Blue snivels, “you know.”

She wipes her eyes. 

“What if she didn’t know we loved her when it happened?”

Blue meets Yellow’s eyes, which widen in a mixture of alarm and concern at Blue’s words.

Yellow stutters, obviously taken aback, “Of course she knew.”

“You know don’t that,” Blue wails.

She sits up and leans forward out of Yellow’s reach.

“Be rational, Blue,” Yellow insists, “She knew that we cared about her.”

Blue whirls around, her hair flying about behind her. She is desparate. “Yet none of us saved her.”

Her face falls, and her eyes begin to water again.

“We let her… I let her die.”

Blue collapses with her face in her hands, shaking. Gut-wrenching sobs tear through her chest, and the pain overwhelms her once again. A feeling of complete hopelessness washes over the room, radiating from Blue like a tsunami. The foreign grief visibly hits Yellow. Blue knows it is her doing, and she doesn't care. 

The latter Diamond fights back the involuntary tears, instead rising to her knees to once again embrace Blue.

“No - No. Blue, don’t think like that,” she warns her. Yellow reaches around Blue’s body to wipe at her own eyes. After, she wipes away Blue’s tears as well, despite the fact that is still a steady stream. “There’s nothing that you - or any of us - could have done. You know that. You weren’t even in the same galaxy as her when it happened.”

“I know,” Blue laments, sniffling, “But I still failed her.”

“We all did,” Yellow states. She is still as stone, and just as emotional.

Blue turns to face Yellow. She looks into her eyes, desperate and searching for some deeper withheld feeling - nearly praying to find something that she can latch onto, an emotion that they share. 

Yellow’s eyes are impassive. 

Blue caves.

“It hurts,” she says, defeated.

“I know.”

There is no further emotional reaction from Yellow.

Blue is envious. 

She desperately needs to feel the way Yellow does - unaffected and distanced from what is hurting her. 

An intense resentment bubbles in the core of her being. It stirs something deep inside of Blue: a violent and frenzied need to reach such an emotional impasse. Her breathing evens as she hooks her gaze onto Yellow’s eyes, wiping her eyes. She twists her body, shifting her weight as she adjusts to sitting on her knees while facing the other gem. She pulls her skirts out from under her legs, her right hand clutching the hem of her dress.

“Make the pain go away,” Blue whispers.

“What?”

“Make the pain go away,” Blue repeats, more demanding this time. She pulls her skirts up higher and sinks down. Her legs block between her thighs, but Yellow is obviously interested. 

Blue’s head is buzzing. She wants it. She wants it more than anything she’s ever wanted. 

“Please.”

Yellow narrows her eyes and looks Blue up and down, wordlessly assessing her intentions.

Blue reaches up to her hips and tugs down, slipping a pair of sheer underwear down her thighs.

It flutters to the ground as Blue tosses it to the side.

Yellow is slow to react, but lust in her eyes is unmistakable. She licks her lips.

“Are you sure you want this?” Yellow asks, slowly. “Right now, like this?”

Blue knows that she has her, she knows that all she has to do is say the word and Yellow would give her exactly what she wants. 

Blue lets one of her legs fall to the side, fully exposing herself to the other Diamond. 

“Touch me, Yellow,” she commands.

It’s as if a switch is flipped. Yellow lunges forward to grab Blue by the waist and lifts her, dragging her across the bed so that Blue is sitting next to her. She grabs by the shoulders and lets her relax into her arms. Blue gives herself over completely. 

Yellow pushes a curtain of light hair aside and presses an open-mouthed kiss on the side of Blue’s neck, eliciting a throaty moan and a desperate yank at the fabric of Yellow’s suit.

Yellow’s lips curl into a devious smile as they graze down the delicate skin of Blue’s neck. Blue gasps at the sensation of Yellow’s teeth catching along her jugular, and shudders as her tongue delineates past her collarbone.

Yellow’s movements slow to a stop as she reaches the center of her chest. Her lips ghost over Blue’s gem, and the warmth of Yellow’s breath against the cool surface of her diamond sends shivers throughout Blue’s entire body. Yellow closes her lips, kissing it with pressure that barely registers as there, yet still sends tremors throughout Blue’s body. The golden gem pulls away from the stone. Her lips move to meet Blue’s again. 

The kiss is soft, gentler than Yellow generally initiates. Blue doesn't complain - she presses her lips against the other pair in response, tracing her fingertips along Yellow’s back.

Yellow shifts the weight of Blue’s body entirely onto her left arm as she pulls her right arm away and out of sight. 

Yellow deepens the kiss, and Blue lets her eyes slide closed in content. Their tongues dance around each other in languid, intimate patterns. 

Blue nearly chokes as she feels Yellow’s fingers skim the insides of her thighs.

“Ohh...”

Blue barely notices that the sound leaves her mouth. All she feels is the light pressure of Yellow’s fingers and the undisciplined heat pooling in between her legs.

Yellow tenderly runs her fingernails across the back of Blue’s thigh, wordlessly asking for a reaction. Blue doesn’t even try to contain it; she writhes in Yellow’s arms.

“Please,” she begs, “do it already.”

Yellow wordlessly obliges, tracing just the tips of her fingers along Blue’s slit. Slowly, with Blue acutely aware of Yellow watching her reaction, she slips her middle finger inside, only up to the first knuckle.

Blue is silent and unreadable, her eyes closed and her brow furrowed.

Yellow doesn’t move. “Do you want me to stop?”

Blue shakes her head.

“Keep going,” she whispers in response.

Yellow pulls Blue up to kiss her neck as she begins to shallowly move her finger in and out. Blue grips the back of Yellow’s shirt, her mouth falling into the shape of a silent “O” as Yellow turns her hand so that her thumb reaches Blue’s clit.

Yellow pushes her finger in to the second knuckle. She runs her tongue along the hollow of Blue’s throat, and Blue lets out a shuddering moan.

“M-more,” she murmurs.

Yellow gently pushes her finger in and out, making sure to keep consistent pressure on her clit. She peppers a trail of kisses up Blue’s neck and onto her chin before she makes it back up to her lips and kisses her mouth, deeply.

With her lips locked with Blue’s their tongues intertwined, Yellow pushes in her ring finger as well, and continues to thrust  
with both fingers. 

Blue mewls against Yellow, breaking the dynamic of the kiss. Blue lets her head drop back. Their lips part, and a thin trail of saliva keeps them connected. 

“Hnnnhh,” Blue’s voice is barely audible, almost indistinguishable from her heavy breathing, “Fuck me, Yellow. Deeper.”

Yellow speeds up, pushing in as far as she can. Blur rolls her hips to match the steady rhythm of her fingers, hard. A jolt of pleasure runs down her spine as she feels Yellow’s mouth latch onto the delicate skin where her neck meets her shoulder.

“God, you're so beautiful,” Yellow mumbles into her skin.

Blue flushes, breathing hard. A familiar hot, tingling sensation builds in her lower stomach. She feels as if a balloon is filling up, pressing against her insides and threatening to burst with every plunge of Yellow’s fingers. Blue lifts her hips, allowing herself to be fucked deeper still. 

Yellow hastily kisses Blue’s collarbone before lifting her head. She has always taken pleasure from watching the Diamond unravel: this time is no different. She goes faster, harder. Blue gasps as Yellow jackhammers her fingers into her. 

The change of angle is perfectly timed. Suddenly, Yellow hits that sweet spot inside of Blue that sends waves of pleasure all the way from her fingertips to her toes. 

Blue can only concentrate on reaching bliss. Electricity courses throughout her body. She is a live wire, bared by pure lust and on the brink of surging beyond her control. 

“Ahh! Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck…” Blue cries out in rapture. 

Her whole body is shaking - it’s almost too intense for her to bear, but at this point, she wouldn’t have Yellow stop for anything.

She opens her eyes just enough to catch Yellow’s gaze. Her golden eyes are filled with determination. Between her entrapture in Yellow’s hungry stare and the overwhelming pleasure heightening every sense in her body with every strike of her G-spot, Blue feels like she’s about to explode. 

“Y-yellow,” she chokes, “I’m about to… oh, fuck… I’m g-going to…”

“Go ahead,” Yellow tells her, “I’ve got you.”

With a few final thrusts, Blue tips over the edge. She throws her head back in a wordless scream as her inner walls repeatedly clench around the other gem’s fingers. She comes violently, convulsing against Yellow, who continues to tenderly stroke her as she rides out the orgasm. 

“Oh, god,” Blue moans into Yellow’s shoulder, “I love you.”

Yellow’s grip slackens; the pace of her fingers slow down inside her.

“I love you I love you I love you.”

The words are practically pouring out of Blue’s mouth at this point. She clutches Yellow tightly.

Yellow pulls her fingers out of Blue and hastily wipes them on the sheets. She cups Blue’s face in her hands.

“Are you okay?” Yellow asks, concern etched into the lines of her face.

“Yes,” Blue says, burying herself into Yellow’s chest “Everything is perfect right now.” 

Yellow kisses her, and Blue melts. The love and intimacy shared in the first few moments after sex are emotional, even for Yellow. Blue kisses her back, wrapping her arms around her neck. 

For a little while, Blue forgets her pain. 

She pulls away from Yellow and rests their foreheads together. “Hold me,” she whispers. 

Yellow holds her.

The two are silent for several long moments. Blue’s grip on Yellow is unrelenting; she grasps Yellow’s clothing as if she were holding on for dear life.

“I love you,” Blue whispers once more. 

She feels the other gem choke on a rare sob of her own as she grips Blue harder. Blue kisses Yellow’s cheek, laying her head on her shoulder.

Finally, Yellow responds, her voice quieter and gentler than Blue has ever heard it.

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> urrrrghh i'm so sorry for this but also not at all


	3. Chapter 3

Yellow angrily storms out of the council room, letting the heavy door slam behind her.

“Yellow!” The door bursts open again, Blue hot on her heels.

“Blue,” Yellow says. She stops, takes a moment, and then composes herself.

Blue catches up to her and places a slender hand on her shoulder. “Come now,” she says softly, “We need to go back to finish the meeting, White is waiting.”

“I don’t care,” Yellow replies dismissively, “Besides, by now I bet she’s on her way out. That meeting ended the second I left the room, and when has White ever stayed longer than she needs to?”

“You have a point there, I suppose,” Blue agrees, glancing back at the closed door. 

The rumbling of an engine is faintly heard, signaling exactly what was predicted. The remaining two Diamonds stand in silence as the craft departs. Yellow peers out of a window to her right and sees a thick cloud of white smoke in the wake of a ship. She rolls her eyes, agitated. Stupid fucking White.

Yellow shakes her head angrily. She startles as Blue’s hand suddenly drifts down her back. 

“There’s something troubling you,” she says. 

Yellow whips around to face the other gem. “What are you, a Sapphire?” she snaps. 

Blue quickly pulls her hand away. She wraps her arms around herself and looks at the floor. 

Yellow sighs, immediately regretting the outburst. 

“It’s nothing,” she halfheartedly assures Blue. 

Blue doesn’t look at Yellow while she speaks. “Bottling up your emotions won’t get you anywhere.” 

“Neither will letting them out,” Yellow fires back. 

Blue glares at her. “I disagree.”

“Obviously.”

They stand in silence for an uncomfortable amount of time, staring in opposite directions. Yellow leans against the wall, crossing her arms. She silently curses herself and her temper. Most of the time, she can say whatever she wants to whoever she wants and be unaffected. When it comes to Blue, however, every time she blows up on her, she instantly fills with guilt. 

She hates that she doesn't stop herself, but more than anything, she hates to think that she did anything to hurt the only being she actually cares about. 

After a long, tense minute, Blue turns back to face Yellow, eyes filled with sadness. 

“Yellow, I don’t like this.”

The taller Diamond glances down the corridor, checking to make sure no one else is present. Upon the assessment it was clear, she reaches out an arm to Blue, who wraps it around her shoulders, circling her own arms around Yellow’s waist.

Yellow sighs irritably. “The transition to Era 2 has been less than favorable. It’s getting absurd.”

Blue snorts - it seems wholly unrefined in comparison to her usual grace, but Yellow finds it endearing. “You can say that again.”

Yellow smirks, despite her frustration. She’s cute when she laughs, Yellow thinks. Her smile falters for a millisecond as she struggles to recall the last genuine smile she had seen on Blue’s face. Had it been ten years? Twenty? Yellow’s mind drifts to a night they spent together around the time that the first measures concerning Era 2 were being implemented. Blue had laughed then, she remembered. 

“The restrictions she wants to place on the creation of new gems are ridiculous,” Blue continues, breaking Yellow away from her thoughts. 

Yellow jolts back into reality, nodding in agreement. “Half of these new gems are going to be defective, and the ones that aren’t are going to be substandard at best.”

“That’s true,” Blue says. She pauses briefly, shooting a quick glance behind her before she continues, “but White is only trying to be careful this time around.”

Something sinks inside Yellow at the indirect mention of Pink. Of course, she always came up. “I know that just as well as you do. I’m only saying that I don’t want to deal with any incompetence.”

Yellow’s voice is more apathetic than she intends, and she can tell that Blue notices the shift in the dynamic.

“You never want to deal with anything,” she mutters as she breaks free of the embrace. She trudges back down the corridor towards the council room. 

“Blue, wait.”

Yellow doesn’t expect her to listen, but, to her surprise, Blue stops.

She shifts her weight from one foot to the other, and then turns to face Yellow. “What has gotten into you lately? You’re so distant.” She looks down at the floor, her eyebrows knitting together. “Even when we’re together we might as well be lightyears apart.”

Yellow bites her bottom lip, searching her brain for some kind of explanation, or at least an adequate response, but can’t think of anything good enough. She sighs, and instead settles for an apology.

“I’m sorry.”

Blue huffs. Her lower lip sticks out. 

“White only wants to make sure that what happened to Pink doesn’t happen to one of us,” she wavers, the telltale tremors in her voice signalling that tears were soon to come, “I couldn’t bear losing you, Yellow.”

The last thing Yellow wants to see is more tears. For years and years she had spent every free hour that her schedule allowed with Blue, holding her while she cried over Pink. Surely, there were even more hours untold that she had grieved on her own. It had been years, but Blue still cried at every mention of her name and every reminder of her legacy.

Intending to avoid a meltdown for both Blue’s benefit and her own, Yellow decides to stop pushing the issue.

She slowly steps closer to Blue, “You know that I feel the same way.”

“Life without Pink has been hard on everyone who loved her - on everyone who knew her,” Blue says, her voice cracking.

“Everyone who knew her loved her,” Yellow agrees. “It’s good of White to make sure we stay safe.”

She catches Blue wiping away a tear.

“Don’t cry,” Yellow says. 

“I’m not crying,” Blue lies. 

Yellow snakes her arms around Blue’s waist, and rests her chin on the shorter gem’s bare shoulder. “I guess the bright side is that under this new era we won’t lose anyone else.”

Blue’s eyes are wide and misty.

“You mean we won’t lose each other,” she whispers. 

“Exactly,” Yellow whispers in reply, and plants a kiss on Blue’s cheek.

Blue smiles sadly, leaning her head against Yellow’s. She wipes another tear away and lets out a long sigh. 

Yellow looks out of the window. The smoke from White’s ship had cleared away, and the horizon was clearly visible. 

“That disgusting smoke finally cleared,” Yellow murmurs, “I hate White’s ship and it's awful fumes.” 

Blue giggles, and Yellow’s heart leaps. Two in a day. Blue turns her head to kiss Yellow once more, still smiling. 

And suddenly, she straightens, pulling away from Yellow, who is left confused.

“What would you say if I said,” Blue begins slowly, turning her head to look behind her and taking Yellow’s hands in her own, “that we go back inside the council room, and see if White really did leave.”

Yellow smirks, knowing just as well as Blue does that she is long gone. “Well,” She leans forward to press her lips against the corner of Blue’s mouth. Blue accepts the kiss, and turns her head for her lips to fully meet Yellow’s. 

“I don’t particularly want to deal with White anymore…” Yellow says, spinning Blue around to face the door, “but I’d say that we had better take this inside soon anyway, don't you think?” Yellow drags her hands up the front of Blue’s body, feeling up every dip and curve through the fabric.

Blue gently pulls on Yellow’s hands, urging her back through the doors of the council room, which is, of course, dark, and just empty as expected. Yellow approaches the large circular table, divided into three sections (one for each Diamond). She drags her hand along the edge of the table, walking until she reaches her own massive yellow chair, which she then pushes backwards. She glances at Blue, who has migrated to the to the other side of the table.

The door has creaked to a solid close, leaving the room to be lit only by the light streaming in through the three looming windows on every wall except for the one containing the door. Yellow leans back into her chair and props her legs up on the table. Blue slides her gloves off one at a time, letting them fall across the arm of her own chair. Her hands now uncovered, she glides across the room to draw gauzy drapes across one of the windows. The light dims with a whoosh. 

She moves to the next window, gingerly kicking her shoes off as she walks. She makes eye contact with Yellow before drawing the second pair. Yellow squints her eyes as to still see the other gem. 

Yellow feels heat gather in her body as Blue disappears out of sight. She hears the precise swish of the final drape closes, and then the soft thud of another piece of fabric hitting the floor. They are almost in total darkness, with just enough light to be able to see each other. 

“I checked, White’s gone” Blue purrs in the other gem’s ear as she slips around Yellow chair. 

Yellow’s mouth goes dry as Blue, now completely naked except for a thin pair of underwear, leans against the edge of the table.

“I’ll come over there and help you look if you want to see for yourself,” Blue says, slinking towards Yellow. 

Yellow swallows hard. “That won’t be necessary. Get on the table.” 

With a sultry bat of her eyelashes, Blue hoists herself onto the smooth glass surface. Yellow phases away all of her clothes and closes the distance between the two of them.

Their lips meet with vigor, Yellow grinding against Blue as Blue’s legs wrap around Yellow’s hips. Blue deepens the kiss with a swipe of her tongue against Yellow’s lower lip.

Yellow lets her right hand wander down to cup Blue’s breast, full and soft. She gives it a squeeze, eliciting a small gasp from Blue. Yellow spreads her hand wide to engulf as much of it as she can, pushing upwards. The excess cleavage spills out between her fingers. 

Blue rolls her hips against Yellow, and the latter Diamond moans into her mouth. The moan breaks the kiss, and Yellow takes the opportunity to sink down and take her nipple into her mouth.

Yellow begins to gently suck, rolling the other nipple in between her thumb and forefinger. She wraps the other arm up Blue’s back with her hand splayed against her shoulder blades. Blue leans into the pressure as she rubs herself against Yellow’s body.

Yellow releases the nipple from her mouth with a pop. She looks up at Blue, who is staring down at her with eyes half lidded. Yellow lets her tongue drag across the other gem’s chest horizontally until she reaches the other breast. Maintaining eye contact, she licks a slow circle around her areola before engulfing it in her lips. Blue’s eyes flutter shut as she draws her breath in shakily. 

Yellow moves her free hand down to in between Blue’s thighs. The initial contact is light as a feather, but Blue shudders as Yellow pushes her hand between them. Her legs tighten around Yellow’s body as the other other Diamond strokes her through the fabric of her underwear.

Yellow pushes the silky material aside to run her finger along Blue’s outer lips. She pushes past them to circle her clit.

“N-not yet,” Blue shudders, grabbing Yellow’s shoulders, “I want to do something else first.”

Yellow looks up at her quizzically.

“Alright...”

Blue nudges Yellow to stand, and holds onto her shoulders as she climbs off of the table. “You sit there,” she instructs, gesturing to Yellow’s chair.

Yellow looks at it, and then back at Blue. “Seriously?”

“Do it,” Blue urges, “Trust me.”

Yellow indulges her, sitting down with her legs uncrossed. Once she is seated, Blue sinks down to her knees in front of her. She runs her fingernails lightly over Yellow’s upper leg with one hand and pushes one knee to the side. 

“Work with me, darling...” Blue whispers, despite meeting no resistance. Her voice trails off into a faint hum and she kisses the skin of Yellow’s lower thigh. Instinctively, Yellow scoots forward in her seat, letting her legs fall apart. Blue traces delicate spirals up her inner thighs, dancing and twirling around everywhere except for the one place that Yellow desperately wants them to be.  
Blue drags her nails across Yellow’s inner thighs with just enough pressure to make the taller gem to choke on her own breath. She collapses back into her chair, her head cracking against the hard back. She feels her entire body tremble as Blue’s lips ghost against the juncture of her thighs.

When Blue’s tongue swipes up the length of her slit, Yellow grasps onto the arms of her chair, knuckles white. Blue lightly flicks her tongue up and down, then side to side, then in circles and repeats until Yellow is spread completely open, practically dripping onto the chair below her. 

Blue suddenly stops and pulls away. Yellow lets out an undignified whine, pushing her hips closer to Blue.

“Shh..” Blue coaxes. She straightens her back and takes each of Yellow’s knees to push them upwards and out. Yellow helps her, readjusting her body as to hook her legs over the arms of her chair. She lets herself relax despite feeling exposed beyond her liking. 

Blue trails her fingers down the backs of Yellow’s thighs as she sinks back down. Once settled back on her knees, Blue doesn’t hesitate to dive right in.

As always, she starts slow and soft. Blue draws shapes and letters with her tongue against Yellow. She’s good - Yellow involuntarily bucks her hips against Blue’s face every time her tongue swipes against Yellow’s clit. 

Blue steadies her her hips, pushing down with a force she doesn’t look capable of. She continues to lap and swirl her tongue at the apex of Yellow’s thighs. Her fingers dig into sensitive skin as she holds down Yellow’s squirming body, the pressure building. She licks all the way up before she stops to suck on Yellow’s clit. 

“Mmm - ah,” Yellow sputters, “Blue - fuck, I can’t take it.”. 

Yellow feels Blue’s lips curl into a smile, her pace unrelenting. Her tongue stiffens to poke through Yellow’s opening. 

Yellow’s chest heaves, her neck elongated as she throws her head back. One of her hands reaches down to grab a fistful of white hair.

Blue hums with approval. She goes all in, delving as deep as she can manage. Yellow’s voice catches in her throat. She bites her lip and lets out a pathetic whimper. Jolts of pleasure shoot down all the way to Yellow’s toes as Blue buries herself into her. Her nose presses against Yellow’s clit as she reaches inside. Blue moves with familiarity, hitting all the right spots with just the right amount of pressure. Yellow’s shivers with every press of Blue’s tongue inside her. 

She feels herself growing restless. “I - I’m about to… I’m going to...” The sentence dies before it can fully leave Yellow’s lips. Blue’s tongue slides out of Yellow, and she once again focuses her attention on Yellow’s vulva and clit.

The pressure inside of Yellow had built to the point where she felt as if she barely had any control over herself - she holds on to Blue’s hair like a lifeline as the sensations begin to peak. 

Blue can tell that she’s teetering on the edge - with a particularly well executed roll of Blue’s tongue, Yellow feels all the pressure in her body expand in ripples. 

Yellow pulls Blue’s hair as she comes - she comes hard.

With her breathing staggering and uneven, Yellow can feel nothing except for the warm, wet heat of Blue finishing her off. She is overwhelmed with the strange tranquility that comes with an orgasm of that magnitude. 

Blue pulls away with a final, wet lick before laying a soft kiss to the inside of Yellow’s thighs. She releases her iron grip on the other Diamond’s hips. Yellow collapses, her feet slapping against the ground as Blue wipes her face on the back of her hand. Yellow finally lets go of Blue’s hair, utterly exhausted. 

“Fuck...” Yellow lets out an exasperated laugh. 

Blue smiles contended as she crawls up Yellow’s body, tracing every curvature and mark with weightless fingertips. Her movements come to a rest at the base of Yellow’s neck. She skips kissing her lips altogether and goes straight for Yellow’s tongue. Yellow lets out a slight moan at the taste of herself on Blue. Blue rakes her hands into Yellow’s hair as she kisses down Yellow’s chin and down onto her neck. 

Yellow fights her weariness by sitting up straight in the chair, pulling Blue back up to her mouth by her chin. 

“I hope you… didn’t think I wouldn’t… finish the job,” Yellow says between each kiss.

Blue balances one hand each on each of Yellow’s shoulders. “I was hoping you’d have at least some energy once I was through with you.” 

She pushes off and takes a step back, hooking a thumb on the waistband of her still-present underwear. “Now where do you want me?”

Yellow chuckles. “Well first of all, I want those off,” she starts, looking Blue up and down while she obeys the command. Yellow stands, drawing Blue in for a kiss. She cups her now-bare ass. 

She whispers heavily into Blue’s ear, her breathing still uneven from her own orgasm. “I want you to sit on your knees, right where I was.”

Yellow feels her shiver. With a guiding touch, Blue does exactly this.

“Face the back of the chair.”

Yellow presses her lower stomach against Blue’s ass, squeezing it firmly. She reaches one hand to Blue’s front to fondle her breast and the other to reach in between her legs.

Blue sighs, letting her head drop backwards onto Yellow’s shoulder. She sinks down a bit as she lets her legs spread as far as the chair will let them. She tilts her face towards Yellow, eyes closed.

“I won’t last lost,” she warns, her breath only loud enough for Yellow to barely hear, “Watching you come like that was the most sexual thing I’ve seen in millennia.”

“I’ll make it a good one,” Yellow whispers back, pinching a taut nipple. She slips her fingers down and begins to caress her.

Blue inhales shakily, and sighs in relief. Her head lolls as she pushes into the pressure of Yellow’s touch.

Yellow moves her fingers one at a time, stroking her to match the movements of Blue’s hips. Each finger slides to its own rhythm, and Blue jolts with every touch. 

Yellow licks a line from Blue’s collarbone to the sensitive skin behind her ear. Blue’s breath hitches, and Yellow latches on to the spot the noise came from, sucking and rolling her tongue over the soft, thin skin of her neck. 

Blue was right, she isn’t lasting long at all..  
The gyration of her hips begins to lose all uniformity and regulation. Yellow moves her hand down from Blue’s breast to grip her leg, pulling it up to the side. With better access, Yellow speeds up, and her rhythmic strokes bring Blue all the way to the edge. 

Blue comes all over Yellow’s fingers with a soft cry. It’s short but intense, and Blue seems thoroughly satisfied as she sighs in pleasure. Yellow kisses the bruise forming on her neck and leans in to kiss her lips. 

“Oh, I love you...” Blue murmurs, deflating into Yellow’s strong arms. 

“You only say that because you just came,” Yellow says with a sly smile. She adjusts her hold on Blue so that she can lift her up bridal style.

“Mm… Doesn’t make it any less true.”

Yellow sits back in her chair and lowers Blue onto her lap. She lets Blue adjust so that they could both get their arms around each other. Yellow plants a kiss on Blue’s forehead. 

“I also say it so that I can get you to say it back,” Blue adds teasingly, her fingers lightly dragging along Yellow’s skin. 

Yellow snorts. “I love you too,” she says half-jokingly. 

The two sit in silence for quite some time, long enough for all smiles to fade and for their breathing falling into sync. Yellow closes her eyes, remembering the way that Blue smiled at her. She relishes in the post-coital bliss, never wanting to get up again. There are days that she would give up her empire just to spend a day with Blue, in bed or otherwise. 

The shadow of a passing ship overheard causes both of the Diamonds to jump.

Their synchronicity breaks, and Yellow inhales sharply. Blue glances up at her, concern in her eyes. 

“Should we leave?” she asks. 

Yellow shakes her head. “I think we’ll be good at least for a little while longer.” 

Blue nods, looking out the window. 

It’s quiet again. 

“Blue?” Yellow says.

The other gem responds with a hum of acknowledgment.

"You know that I mean it when I say that I love you, right? Really, you're the only one I've ever loved - probably the only one I ever could love." The words spill out before Yellow has a chance to think. 

Blue simply nods again and rests her head back on Yellow’s shoulder. She kisses the skin next to her collarbone.

“I know,” she says, though Yellow has a feeling she doesn't fully understand, “and you know I love you for that.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slight warning for dubcon in this chapter

Blue knelt in Pink’s sanctuary, her hands clasped on her lap in front of her. Her pearl is poised serenely near the door, gazing up at the sight of the thousands of bubbles as her Diamond is. The Rose Quartz gems above their heads glint as they reflect the soft light of the stars, muted by the darker hues of the bubbles containing them. Blue looks up at them wistfully, her thoughts flooded by the memories of the Diamond who created them. Tears flow down her cheeks. 

Both gems jump as the door hisses open behind her. The Pearl immediately regains her composure - the Diamond takes longer. She scrambles to her feet, turning away from the approaching visitors. 

“I thought I told you not to come here anymore.” Yellow Diamond’s commanding voice disturbs the silence of the room. Her heavy footsteps contrast with the tiny patter of her Pearl’s. 

Blue wipes her eyes. “I wanted to visit.”

“It’s not good for you,” Yellow says, “You get stuck in the past far too often and far too deeply,”

“I’m trying to make sure her legacy doesn’t disappear,” Blue argues, avoiding the other gem’s gaze. 

She looks at the Pearls, who have flocked to one another for comfort. Her Pearl hides slightly behind Yellow’s. They whisper to each other. 

Yellow scoffs, and both of the Pearls flinch. “I don’t think that’s going to be a problem… Certainly not with you constantly reminding everyone about her.”

“This isn’t funny, Yellow.” Blue looks away from the Pearls and stares at the floor instead. 

“I’m not joking.”

A new stream of tears wells up in Blue’s eyes. Her voice wavers. “You’re being insensitive.” 

Although Blue pointedly avoids her gaze, she can practically feel Yellow roll her eyes. “You’re not doing what you need to do! How can any of the gems under your reign flourish if you’re sitting here blubbering instead of doing your job.” 

“There’s no need to be cruel,” Blue says quietly. She wraps her arms around herself, squeezing her eyes shut in an attempt to quell her tears. 

It doesn't work. 

“I’ve been patient with you for thousands of years. I’ve been there for you, comforted you. What else is there that I can do?” Blue feels a sudden chill on her shoulders, which she recognizes as Yellow’s touch. She stiffens nonetheless as Yellow draws her closer. “Nothing is going to bring her back and that’s all there is to it.” 

“You’re not helping!” Blue exclaims. She turns her head to the side, as far away from her fellow Diamond as she can. “I wish that you weren’t so heartless.” 

Yellow freezes. Her grip on Blue’s shoulders disappears, and she steps away. Blue does not attempt to follow her or even look. 

“Heartless? After everything, that’s the word you choose to describe me?”

Once again, Blue avoids answering. 

Yellow Diamond scoffs. “Pearls, leave us,” she commands. 

The small gems glance at one another hesitantly. Yellow’s pearl glances back at her Diamond, flinches at her expression, and then grabs the other Pearl by her elbow. Both of them scurry to get through the door, nearly tripping over their own feet. Yellow glares at them the whole time. 

Once the door closes behind them, Yellow’s composure falls. She is obviously agitated as she touches Blue again.

“Stars, Blue. Did you forget all the nights we spent together? Hundreds of thousands of years and you never seemed to think I was heartless then.” 

Blue tries her best to ignore Yellow’s words, but she knows that they are true. Her heart sinks. 

“I’ve tried to be there for you for as long as we’ve existed, Blue,” Yellow pressed, her hands slowly sliding down Blue’s arms. “I’d even say I love you with all my heart-” 

Yellow’s fingers tighten painfully into Blue’s flesh, causing the latter gem to whimper aloud. 

“-but apparently I don’t have one.”

“I didn’t mean it like th-”

“What else could you have possibly meant?” Yellow releases Blue’s arms. 

Blue’s hands go to feel the spots where Yellow’s nails had dug in. Tears fall from her lashes as her fingers trace over the indents. There will be bruises. 

“You can just be so… unkind… and especially so when it comes to my mourning.”

“I just want you to move on,” Yellow says, sweeping Blue’s hair over her shoulder. 

Blue turns her head in the opposite direction. “I’m not ready. Give me time.”

“It’s been long enough.” 

Yellow kisses Blue’s shoulder gently. Blue shivers, trying to push her away. 

Blue jumps, then freezes at the sensation of Yellow’s arms snaking around her waist. 

“It hasn't been long enough for me,” Blue says. She shivers as the other gem’s hand flattens against her abdomen, her fingertips pushing into the sensitive skin, “Stop it, Yellow.”

“You could use a distraction.” 

Her other hand wanders upwards until it reaches Blue’s breast. 

“No, don’t,” Blue begs, squirming in her arms. 

Yellow takes it in her hand and squeezes it. 

“Not here. It's not right."

Yellow’s lips graze the shell of her ear, her hand continuing to grasp at Blue. “No one is going to bother us here, don't worry.”

“It’s not that. I don’t want to disrespect… disrespect her mem… memory - ah!” Blue’s voice disappears into a squeak as Yellow tweaks her nipple through the fabric of her dress.

Yellow smiles into the crook of her neck. Blue shudders at the sensation of hot breath on her skin, contrasting sharply with the cold air of the room. “Last I checked, a memory can’t take offense.” 

“Stop,” Blue gasps, squeezing her legs together as Yellow’s other hand wanders south. “I - I don’t want to right now.” 

“Really? It seems like you do.” 

Yellow pulls her hand away, and then rapidly brings it back down on Blue’s ass. Blue inhales sharply at the stinging sensation. 

“I-I’m not sure this is a very good idea...” Blue stammers. She feels her inhibitions slipping away as her body gets hotter and hotter. 

Yellow touches her ass again, more of a caress than a slap, and then slides both of her hands back to the center of Blue’s waist. She lays a kiss to Blue’s jawbone. 

“Then tell me what is,” she says. 

Blue turns her head to look at Yellow. Before she knows what’s happening, she’s crushing her lips against Yellow’s. Yellow spins her around, pinning Blue in her arms. Blue kisses her back frantically, pushing past Yellow’s lips to stick her tongue against the other gem’s. 

Yellow fingers dig into Blue’s sides, but Blue barely notices. Her teeth clack against Yellow’s as the kiss further deepens. Yellow’s nails rake down Blue’s back. 

Blue’s already shaky legs turn to jelly; she doesn’t do anything to stop herself from falling, and neither does Yellow. Together, they sink to the floor. 

Yellow frees Blue from her grip once they reach the ground, and looks her up and down. Blue’s chest heaves, she holds herself upright by leaning on the palms of her hands. Her skirts bunch around her calves. 

There is a type of hunger in Yellow’s eyes akin to that of a wild animal. Blue swallows the lump in her throat as she searches for the affection she so desperately needs to be there. 

“P-please,” Blue breathes, even though she has no idea what she is asking for. 

Yellow crawls toward her, taking a fistful of Blue’s skirts with her as she goes to meet her lips again. Blue shivers with the exposure of her thighs. She tries to press them together, but Yellow is faster than she anticipates. 

Blue gasps as her underwear is ripped to the side, the sound quickly muffled by the other gem’s lips. The gasp turns to a soft moan as Yellow rubs light circles on her clit. 

Suddenly, the pressure stops. Blue whines, letting her legs fall open and rolling her hips. 

Yellow kisses her once more, and then pulls away to travel back down Blue’s body. She pushes her skirts all the way up past her hips as she shoves Blue's legs as far apart and she can. 

Yellow's tongue against her cunt is hot; Blue attempts to stifle her reaction to the feeling of pleasure coursing through her body to no avail. It's intense and raw, overwhelming, even. She lies down on her back, eyes wide open and brow furrowed as she stares at the ceiling. She sucks in her breath as Yellow speeds up. 

Each lick is forceful, much rougher than Blue likes and is used to. The sheer intensity of Yellow’s tongue against her causes Blue to try and squirm away, even as her hips are held firmly in place by crushing force of Yellow’s hands. Everything about the experience was overwhelming, bordering on painful. 

Regardless, Blue’s thighs begin to tense. She doesn't want to come, but she feels herself inching closer and closer to the edge with every flick and roll of Yellow’s tongue. 

As the pressure in her lower stomach builds, so does the pressure behind her eyes. At first, only a single tear escapes, but, within seconds, an entire barrage floods down the sides of her face. She begins to shake violently, the quakes of her sobs mixing with the involuntary twitches of pleasure. 

The tears pool on the floor as they drip down her temples. A considerable amount of her hair is dampened, but that’s the last thing Blue is thinking about. “Y-yellow,” she manages through her tears, her voice cracking. “Yellow, kiss me.” 

The golden gem lifts her face from between Blue’s legs. She crawls back up her body, straddling Blue, but keeping a hand between them to continue her ministrations. 

Yellow’s kiss is rough, but Blue doesn’t expect anything different at this point. She wraps her arms around the Diamond’s shoulders, weeping as she kisses her back. 

Yellow experimentally dips two fingers inside of Blue, shallowly at first, but as Blue writhes in pleasure, she quickly opts to slip them inside, eliciting a quaking sob. Her wrist twists and thrusts into her expertly, her thumb pressed against Blue’s clit. 

Yellow breaks the kiss to snag Blue’s lower lip between her teeth. It’s hard - hard enough to draw blood, but Blue doesn't care. Even as Yellow kisses her lips again, everything is fuzzy except for the throbbing at the apex of her thighs. Yellow adds a third finger and Blue throws her head back, it slamming it against the ground. 

“Fuck,” she nearly screams. Her thighs tighten and she closes her eyes as the white-hot feeling of climax closes in on her. 

The pleasure in her body reaches its peak and begins to spill over - Blue tightens her grip on Yellow's shoulders as she starts to come, sobbing. 

“I love you,” Blue chokes as the pleasure explodes inside of her. Her voice fades away and cracks, her vision blurs. 

Her whole body shakes, and she grounds herself by clamping onto Yellow.

Blue attempts to muffle her screams against the other gem's shoulder. Cries of sadness mix with that of pleasure. Yellow withdraws her fingers and kisses the side Blue’s cheek. She lets her head drop down, forehead touching the floor. 

The two lay like that in silence for a long time, with Yellow mounted on top, and with Blue sprawled beneath her, completely spent, yet still gripping Yellow’s shoulders tight as a vice. 

Blue’s breathing begins to regulate as she calms down. The tears still flow from her eyes, but the body-wracking sobs have ceased, as well as the convulsions from her orgasm. She inhales shakily, somehow tightening her grip on Yellow even more. 

At this, Yellow winces. Finally, she pries herself out of Blue’s clutches and sits upright next to her. She pulls Blue’s dress down to cover her. 

“Fucking shit,” she mutters, not making eye contact. 

Blue wordlessly looks back up at the ceiling. 

“I didn't mean to get so carried away,” Yellow says quietly, downcast. She smooths Blue’s dress, and the latter gem winces as Yellow touches her bruised hips. 

Yellow quickly retracts her hand. 

“Fuck,” she repeats. 

Blue’s fingers instinctively go to her bruised arms, then up to her lips. Her hips and sides ache. She closes her legs, still throbbing from sensitivity, but also from pain. Yellow was rougher than she wanted her to be, but it isn't the first time she's been roughed up. It only took a small amount of gem energy to fix, and she could easily take care of it on the ship. For now, she needed to rest. 

“Are you hurt?” Yellow asks, finally looking at Blue. 

The Diamond pauses before she slowly shakes her head, “Nothing I can’t handle,” she replies, her voice hoarse. 

“Do you want me to leave?” 

Blue shakes her head again. 

“Can you hold me?” she asks softly. 

Yellow is silent. After a few seconds of expressionless contemplation, she closes her eyes and nods, readjusting herself as to take the other gem in her arms. 

Blue holds her legs close to her body as Yellow cradles her. She closes her eyes, relishing in feeling the warmth of Yellow’s body without being crushed by it.

They are quiet. The bubbled Quartzes drift overhead, gently reflecting a soft pink light onto the two Diamonds. Everything is still except for the formless gemstones’ soft twinkling. 

“I love you,” Blue repeats, her voice barely audible. 

Blue feels slight tremors in Yellow’s arms. She looks up to meet her gaze, but Yellow doesn't let her. There is a strange expression written on what she allows Blue to see; Blue can’t immediately place the emotion. 

She waits for Yellow’s standard response, a brief but sincere “I love you too” followed by a quick kiss, or, at the very least, a hug. After several long, agonizing seconds, Yellow speaks. 

“I’m sorry that you do,” she says instead. Her voice breaks, and she looks down. 

Blue leans her head into Yellow’s chest, offering as much comfort as she can manage with her arms still wrapped around her own legs. 

Blue has no idea what to say. 

“Oh…” her voice fades out, “Yellow…”

Yellows glances back at her, holding the gaze for just a moment before looking away again. She pulls Blue closer. 

All at once, Blue is slammed by the realization of what Yellow is feeling. It’s an emotion that she herself had felt for thousands of years, yet had never seen on the face of another in quite the same way, especially not Yellow. 

Wholly unfiltered and raw, just as intense as her own, Blue’s heart sank as she realized that she wasn't the only one in who was in anguish. 

Blue returns her embrace as tightly as she can, and intends not to let go for a very, very long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cried while writing this, don't @ me


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's no smut in the chapter, just sadness. you are warned.

Blue’s hair stands on end as she stares in horror at the hole in the roof made by her own palanquin. 

Openmouthed, she furiously turns to Yellow, whose eyes are nearly bugging out of her skull in anger. “Do something,” Blue seethes, her teeth clenched. Yellow glares back at her, clearly disliking her tone. Nonetheless, she exhales heavily and rushes to intercept the traitor. 

Blue sinks to the floor, her brain going a hundred thousand miles a minute. She grabs her hair in her hands. Her Pearl flies to her side, resting a tiny hand on her Diamond’s knee. 

Blue Diamond takes a moment with her Pearl. She’s so small, but somehow manages to retain an elegance and composure that, in the moment, Blue is envious of - only once before has she ever been caught so helplessly in the middle of a disaster. 

She is vaguely aware of Yellow knocking a hole in the wall, but doesn’t particularly care. There is a part of her that knows searching for Rose Quartz is a lost cause. 

Blue reaches down to stroke her Pearl’s cheek. The small gem leans into her touch, reciprocating the contact as much as she is able to. The corner of Blue’s lips curl into a gentle smile.

How sweet, she thinks. She wishes that she could be as calm and untouched by the world as her Pearl. 

“She’s gone,” Yellow’s booming voice causes both of the gems to recoil. “I sent an entire fleet of robonoids after her. I expect she’ll be back in our custody by dawn at the latest.” 

Blue Diamond straightens her back, and gestures for her Pearl to leave. The smaller gem does so, quickly scampering out of sight. 

“I cannot believe we let the most wanted war criminal in Gem history get away,” Blue says through clenched teeth. Her misery stems from anger instead of sadness, an unusual emotion for Blue. 

“They got ahold of your Palanquin,” Yellow chastises, “Bringing it into the courtroom was a mistake.” 

Blue gasps. “It was to help the case!” 

“It allowed Rose Quartz to escape!” Yellow retorts, glaring at her angrily. 

Blue turns away, hurt. 

Yellow sighs, rolling her eyes. “It’s like I said, she’ll be caught by dawn.”

“So you say.”

“Blue, this isn’t the time to argue.”

Blue rises to her feet to face Yellow head on. “Why?” she presses, “This feels like a justified situation.” 

Yellow scoffs. “You don’t need justification to be upset.”

Blue doesn't hesitate to fire back. “Just as you’ve never needed justification to be vicious.”

The Diamonds glare at each other, at an impasse: both wanting to lash out more, but neither prepared to deal with the repercussions. 

Blue is the one to break the tense silence.

"How could you have done that to me?" she asks, her voice deadly quiet. 

Yellow avoids making eye contact. When she speaks, her voice is slow and steady, lacking emotion. “What exactly are you accusing me of?” 

“This entire trial has been a nightmare! I don’t even know if I can trust you anymore.” Blue says. 

“You can’t possibly believe any of the lunacy that Zircon was spouting.” 

Blue shoots Yellow a look. “Regardless of what the Zircon said, you lost control! If you hadn’t gone off the rails we could have caught her.” 

Yellow’s brow furrows. She shakes her head, taken aback. 

“Why is this entirely my fault? You were there too,” she exclaims. 

Blue’s eyes fill with tears. Her voice wavers. “You know how Pink’s death makes me feel, and I know it hurts you too. We agreed that we would see this trial through to the end, and we didn’t,” she narrows her eyes at Yellow, “Now Rose Quartz is gone and we’re left here without any closure.” 

Yellow sighs. 

“Blue, calm down and think rationally. Rose Quartz will be back in our custody before you know it. We’ll shatter her then and we can get our closure.” 

Blue shakes her head, looking down. She wraps her arms around herself, and lets the tears fall from her eyes. 

She feels Yellow’s gaze on her. Several moments pass, tensions high, before Yellow closes the gap between herself and Blue.

“Come here,” she says, putting an arm around Blue’s shoulders. 

Blue resists. “No.” 

Yellow continues to hold her tightly, and pulls Blue closer to her. “Shh, it’ll be okay.”

“Don’t touch me,” Blue says, he breaking the embrace and walks away. Angrily, she wipes her eyes. 

She feels Yellow’s hand on the small of her back. 

“Don’t touch me!” Blue screams, whirling around. Her anger explodes outward, blowing her hair back and causing Yellow to stagger backwards. 

Blue frantically pulls her own hair in frustration. “Get away! I’ve had it!” she cries. She is overwhelmed and distressed - nothing makes sense, nothing is right. 

She takes a moment to compose herself, taking a deep breath and letting her arms drop to her sides. She meets Yellow’s eyes. 

Yellow is shocked, mouth half open with an eyebrow arched. 

“I’m locking the doors to my chambers tonight,” Blue says. Her voice is firm, her implication clear. 

Yellow is obviously floor. “Wha-?” she stammers. “Are you serious?”

“Send a messenger if there is news.” 

“Blue-” 

“Come, Pearl,” Blue interrupts, signaling for the other gem to come to her side. As always, the Pearl is perfectly on cue, meeting her Diamond on the warp pad just as she intends. 

Blue stands on the warp pad. She looks back at Yellow, her heart heavy. She wants nothing more than to take Yellow in her arms and pray that she doesn’t lose her, even as it feels like she’s already slipping through her fingers. Blue wants to believe that everything will be okay - she wants Yellow to tell her that she is safe and that no harm will come to her. She wants to touch Yellow, lose herself in Yellow’s arms, and to feel like everything is just as it should be, with Yellow right beside her. Most of all, she wanted to tell Yellow all of this. She wants to tell Yellow exactly how she feels.

She wants to tell Yellow that she loves her. 

But everything wasn’t okay, and Yellow wasn’t beside her. Yellow was far, far away from Blue in every possible manner, and nothing was as it should be. 

So Blue doesn’t say a word. 

The warp pad activates, and Blue is whisked away by beams of white light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cried again, goodbye. pls end my sad existence.
> 
> thank you so much for reading!!! and also thank you all for your feedback, i love all of you so much!. i'll definitely be writing more stuff for this pairing in the future, i really love the dynamic between the Diamonds and i love to explore their characters.


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